Do you ever get stuck feeling sorry for yourself? I think most of us have. It’s so easy to do. Today, I started doing just that, then I had an amusing and comforting thought I want to share to hopefully help someone find a more healthy Christian perspective.
Today, I did something I wasn’t supposed to. I justified it, like we so often do. I thought it would be okay, and the reason why I was banned from this thing was no longer an issue. Or so I thought. Later in the day the reasons why I was not to do this thing crept up on me. This action I took isn’t important, but what it lead up to was almost amusing and maybe this will be encouraging or helpful for someone else.
I believe all things are working together for our good if we really trust the Lord, and I can see this in most areas of my life. Most difficult circumstances I have to deal with, even sin struggles, I can reason within myself some good that the Lord is planning, either in my life or others. That is not the case for this one struggle I have.
Anyhow, I started wondering down this path of unproductive thought, and while I was cleaning my kitchen I started this dialogue with the Lord, asking Him why in the world did I have to deal with this thing? What good is in it? The conversation then lead to this full-on pity party. That’s usually not me. It used to be more so, but not so much these days. I generally push those kids of things aside, but it was like a flood gate opened and all my repressed things came out.
Why am I so expendable? Why so disposable? There when someone needs something then tossed out when it’s convenient. The runner-up, the second or last choice. Lied about. Cheated. Used. Taken advantage of. The scapegoat…then I just started laughing. *disclaimer* of course this mindset does not apply to everyone in my life. In-fact, doubtful of anyone who would be reading this in the first place.
Really, Amanda!? I felt so stupid. Here I am, talking to Jesus about all of this. What came to mind was the image of a man with his arms and legs missing, and here I am complaining because I stubbed my toe.
How much more when throwing a pity party to the one who suffered the cross? I know Jesus is merciful and he was made human for a reason, and I would never belittle anyone who was going through these kids of feelings. I’d rather them know that it is okay to feel what they do and be supportive. I’m always harder on myself than anyone else. For me though, I’ve never felt so ridiculous. And at the same time so comforted.
And it’s not like I suffer these things for righteousness sake. Well, maybe. Depends on how I look at it. Even so, any amount of pain I go through will pale in comparison to the cross, and you know what, I have it coming. In-fact, what I have coming is much worse. What I deserve is death. We all do. And though there is a time to grieve wrongs done to us, I think it’s much better to lay it all down and change our perspective.
Instead of looking at what others have done to us or what we suffer otherwise in this world, look to the cross. Then look at us, the ones for whom Jesus suffered. Humility, patience, faith in God’s will and perfect timing, and the understanding that in Christ, we will overcome by the power of He who overcame this world are much more profitable and healthy Christian perspectives then self-pity.