The Pretentious Bride

You are ever faithful, and I to you.

I find you simple, plain, and unable to satisfy me.

I will find another. Someone more exiting and new.

I will bring him to our marriage bed.

Does this not please you, my one true groom?

Your sweat and tears I admire. You’ve labored hard for me.

I will sit back and watch you work yourself to the bone.

I will pretend your tears and blood are not dripping before my eyes.

I will rest and enjoy the fruit of your labors.

Does this not please you, my sacrificial groom?

Your words are sweet and your ways are just.

I will do that which is pleasing to me, ignoring all inconvenience.

I will seek the counsel of your enemy and heed their advice.

I will twist your words and use them as I choose.

Does this not please you, my wise groom?

I honor and respect you and with my words I praise your name.

When the mockers come, I will remain silent.

I might even join them as they slander you behind your back.

I will disgrace your name and bring you shame.

Does this not please you, my honorable groom?

I adore everything about you and my heart is yours.

I can’t be bothered to get to know you.

I will not ponder the depths of your soul and seek after you.

I will say that I love you, but I am far from you.

Does this not please you, my devoted groom?