Many people want to criticize women who teach the bible or peach the gospel – invariably citing scriptures about how women should stay silent in church, etc. I feel ya, I really do. I struggled with this question when I first felt called into doing what I do – and even now – as insignificant as my little blog is, it’s still a struggle. But, for different reasons.
I believe that in Christ, all should do some measure of preaching the gospel, though that can take different forms. This doesn’t always mean teaching the bible or writing articles like I do. It can simply be through how we live – which is the greatest way to show the glory of God, in my opinion. Even so, there is some measure to which we are equal in Christ. But, I do think there is some wisdom to the natural order of things, in that women should subject to men, especially their husbands.
I know, this might ruffle some feathers, and I’m not really interested in laboring over this point right now. I do want to write something on that soon. For now, the main thing I want to touch on is my struggles as a women in ministry. Very few people stop by my website, and only a handful view my articles regularly – most of which are women. So, for the most part, my “ministry” or whatever you’d call it, as of now has a mostly female audience anyway.
That aside, there are some things I want to say. For one, I would love nothing more than to have a strong man of God in charge of this ministry, with me standing quietly on the sidelines cheering him on and offering encouragement. That’s just not in the cards for me. Not now anyway. Instead, I find myself as one who, as far as my beliefs go, should be the “help-mate,” yet, I find myself doing what I do, and there is no one to help me. I’m not whining about it, though at times I get very tired.
I’m happily married, and I respect my husband and defer to him. I’ve learned a lot about what a change of attitude in that regard can do for a marriage. I appreciate the wisdom of God in the roles men and women hold. But, as far as ministry goes, I’m mostly on my own.
Finding real Christian fellowship has been a struggle. I’ve tried out churches, and haven’t found one I can be in for long. I’ve been thinking about giving that another shot, but I’m not overly optimistic. I’ve tried creating Facebook groups and forums. No success. I’ve gotten some encouragement from people in my life, but for the most part it’s just people who love me being polite, but they either take what I say to heart for a while, then it looses it’s luster, or they just nicely explain things away that they don’t understand. I have good intentions, but I’m mislead. Things of that nature – and those are the nice ones. Being all-out berated and called hateful names isn’t all that unusual either.
Why do I write this? I couldn’t care less about invoking sympathy, or worse yet, false confidence. I’m faltered. Big time. But, I know there might be someone out there, someone like me who feels alone in this. Someone who thinks things like, “It would be so nice to have someone I could sit down and talk to about the things of God – someone who shared my passion for it and didn’t give me looks like I’m nuts when I talk about the Holy Spirit or some other experiences.” I’ve gotten to where I keep most things to myself, because I just don’t expect to be taken seriously. I know the Lord is my strength, and there is a reason for all of this. I just don’t fully understand now.
Honestly, in part, I’m venting. I don’t want Kindling Truth to be some sound board for my frustrations, but, showing people that there is a fallible person who has real feelings like you do might be beneficial. I know I would have greatly benefited from something like this. I still would.
Anyway, back to why I, as a woman, have a Christian blog, ministry, whatever you want to call it. I do what I do because I am compelled by my conscience to do so. There are times when I really don’t want to, and I’ve tried to stop more than once. I can’t. Anyone who is sincerely called to do anything like this will know what I’m talking about. That doesn’t mean I’ve been perfect in it. Not by a long shot, and I realize I have much room for growth and improvement. But maybe, if there were more men of God out there teaching the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I wouldn’t have to.
So, take it or leave it. All any of us can do is what we think is right. To you ladies out there who have a testimony to share, you go for it as far as I’m concerned. But, that does not mean we forget the way God has ordained things to be. Our society wants to emasculate men as much as possible, and I in no way condone that.